is what he might say:
But this is what he'd
I am too
proud to beg, and may appear to be a very independent creature, I ask
for your loving care and attention.
boss, serve me.
rely on you for my well being much more than you may realize.
out and earn money to keep me in the style to which I intend to
I promise you, my benefactor, that I will not be a burden on you nor
will I demand more of you than you care to give.
more attention I get, the more I want. You may have to hire another
slave for me.
will be a quiet peaceful island of serenity for you to gaze upon; a
soft soothing body to caress, and I shall purr with pleasure to rest
your weary ears.
will tear round the house smashing ornaments at 3 a.m., infest the
house with fleas, and bite your mother when she comes to visit.
I am a gourmet who appreciates different taste sensations, I pray you
will give me a variety of nutritious foods and fresh water daily.
need Evian water, changed at least six times per day, chilled but not
too cold. Any food offerings that you make, no matter how expensive,
will be turned down if I think there is a chance that I can scrounge
the three day old bread that next door put out for the birds.
know dear friend, how I love to sleep. Allow me, I pray, a warm
sheltered place where I can rest peacefully and feel secure.
you dare wake me, I know where you sleep, and will get revenge -
claw type bloody revenge!
I am wounded in battle or suffering from disease, please tend me
gently, and see that I am treated by loving and competent hands.
reserve the right to mangle the most expensive hands you hire to
protect me from the inhuman humans who would hurt and torture me for
their own amusement. I am accustomed to your gentle touch and am not
always suspicious nor swift enough to avoid such malicious acts.
you ever find out that it was me who bit your mother's thumb, I'll have
to claim that she woke me up when I was
having a bad dream.
my later years when my senses fail me and my infirmities become to
great to bear, allow me the comfort and dignity that I desire for my
closing days and help me gently in my pain or passing.
I've had enough of being pampered, please send me to my next
reincarnation, where I look forward to being satisfactorily served once
this prayer, my dear friend; my fate depends on you.
might just accept you as slave, if you behave yourself.|