(author unknown) The cat does not barf hairballs; he is a floor/rug redecorator. The cat does not break things; she helps gravity do its job. The cat does not fear dogs; they are merely sprint practice tools. The cat does not gobble; she eats with alacrity. The cat does not scratch; he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator. The cat does not yowl; he is singing off-key. The cat is not a "shedding machine;" she is a hair relocation stylist. The cat is not a "treat-seeking missile;" she enjoys the proximity of food. The cat is not a bed hog; he is a mattress appreciator. The cat is not a chatterbox; she is advising me on what to do next. The cat is not a dope addict; she is catnip appreciative. The cat is not a lap fungus; he is bed selective. The cat is not a pest; she is attention deprived. The cat is not a ruthless hunter; she is a wildlife control expert. The cat is not evil; she is badness enhanced. The cat is not fat; he is mass enhanced. The cat is not lazy; he is motivationally challenged. The cat is not underfoot; she is shepherding me to the next destination, the food dish. Recommend This Page To A Friend!
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